I just got done cursing, literally, the F bomb was used, winter. I may have also beaten the ever living crap out of a pile of snow on the side of our driveway that I slip on every blessed day while I unbuckle/buckle my son in and out of his car seat. I may have some anger issues.
Normally, I can regain my balance, but tonight, I slipped and fell flat on my butt, messing up my back completely. This came at the end of a Friday, where I unexpectedly had to pick up the kids from daycare and preschool. Kids who were dripping wet from playing in the melting snow and screaming at me because they were hungry and for some reason thought we were having McDonald's, which wasn't the case.
It was the last straw and I had a major meltdown. I have a lot of those.
I violently threw the snow pants and coats in the door and onto the couch as I went back outside to have my way with a shovel and the pile of snow.
I'm done with winter. I just can't handle it anymore. I need the snow to be gone. I need to not have to keep track of hats and mittens and snow pants anymore.
By Friday evening, I am generally completely exhausted, and looking forward to two days by myself with the kids as my "weekend break" is just a little bit too overwhelming sometimes. Today was one of those times.
I don't get to be tired. I don't get to be sick. I have to keep it all together or this family would fall to pieces in an instant.
So I spent the last hour or so crying and avoiding eye contact with everyone in our house. I am a real gem to live with sometimes. I think I am on par with female inmates when my "bucket" is empty. I turn straight up savage.
James decided to take the kids into our bedroom to watch a movie while I try to bake a cheesecake...I think he figured it would probably be the only way that everyone would survive the evening alive. There were a few too many hands on my eggs and about three too many little voices asking too many questions. It wasn't pretty.
I don't have the patience being a mom requires most days. I can just imagine the therapy my children are going to need someday.
As I was finishing the crust for said cheesecake, I heard Chewbacca call to me, indicating that I had a new e-mail. (I don't even like Star Wars, I just think it is funny.)
I decided to check it quickly and it was from St. Paul Public Schools. I was almost too scared to look at it. The outcome of this e-mail would determine the fate of my daughter's education (Kindergarten, it's a big deal) and most certainly my mood for the remainder of the evening. You see, we'd already received two other e-mails of the sort from charter schools indicating that we were so far down on their waiting list that there was no chance of getting in. Things haven't been very promising.
Nevertheless, I squinted and went for it. Here is what I saw:
Joy ensued.
FINALLY! After multiple rejections, we received acceptance into the ONLY Public School in our district that I felt comfortable sending my daughter too.
God knew just what I needed to get me through the rest of this evening and weekend. This news came at the perfect time.
God provides the right things at the right time. If I had gotten this news next week, as expected, I would have been excited, but it wouldn't have been as meaningful as it was tonight. Tonight, it gave me some much needed hope to cover one of the holes in my bucket so I can slowly start to fill it back up.
Bring on the weekend.
au revoir
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