Stuck on Saturday

I've had a post running through my head the last two days but it was always at the most inconvenient time, which is how it always seems to work.  I find the words when I can't stop and give them the time they deserve and when I finally get the chance to let them spill out, they escape me.


However, I just sat staring at the most gut-wrenching photo I have ever seen.  It has been reported and removed from Facebook multiple times, so it may be gone by the time you click the link.  It is disturbing, but it is reality.  It is a picture of some of the147 Kenyans that were killed during a terrorist attack at Garrisa University College, an attack by Islamic Terrorist Group Al-Shabab.  An attack that specifically targeted Christians.  


I looked at every single person that lost their life and just started weeping.  The world is a scary, sinful, dark place and my heart hurts.  As I was reflecting on the darkness, I remembered that because of the extravagant love of Jesus, darkness and death do not prevail, they have already been overcome.  This pain, this darkness, this death, it is not final.


I was reading through a letter by Uhuru Kenyatta, the current president of Kenya, as he addressed the country after the massacre, he too, reminded me of this.

In the next few days, as funerals are held across the length and breadth of Kenya, we will be filled with anguish and great anger. During this holy period of Easter, the families and communities of the fallen should take solace in recalling that after the evil of the cross on Friday, and when the Devil thought he had triumphed, Sunday’s hope arrived. As we remember those that fell at Garissa, we recognise that the resurrection of Jesus demonstrates that the power of hatred and violence will never prevail. We shall prevail.

We shall prevail, we already know the ending, we know that death was defeated, but right now, right now feels a lot like I imagine Saturday felt for the disciples.  It feels dark.  It feels defeating.  It feels hopeless at times.  But without Saturday, we can't appreciate the miracle that Sunday brings.


This year, more than any other year, I have learned to appreciate the fact that you can't have resurrection and new life without death.  I have experienced first hand just how much life you can have if you allow yourself to release the grip you have on your life.


I read a blog post called Resurrection Remix by Ty Gibson and I loved so much of what he said but found this paragraph particularly beautiful:

As the Savior hung tortured in body and soul upon the cross, despised by men and apparently forsaken by God, utterly alone in the deep darkness of our shame, love and selfishness stood face to face in raging combat. In Christ, the law of sin and death measured strength against the law of life, and life, by love, gained the victory. In the final, expiring breath of Jesus, Calvary placed on record for all eternity the indisputable fact that God is infinitely selfless. All intelligent worship and all true loyalty are forever His by virtue of the cross. And all rebellion against such a God as this is manifestly unjustifiable.

 

 Each and every day in our lives, love and selfishness stand face to face, raging a ware within every single one of us.  Unfortunately for me, selfishness tends to win time and time again.  Appropriately, one of my favorite albums is titled The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me.  The album is by Brand New, and although they aren't a Christian band, many of their lyrics are Biblically influenced.  The best song on the album is called Jesus Christ and it is what I believe to be an extremely honest prayer by the songwriter (Jesse Lacey) as he acknowledges his sinful and broken nature.  The last half of the song goes as follows:

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up (everyone now)

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

When I'm having a particularly rough day, I just like to crank this in my car and the world seems a little bit better. I like it when people are honest about their struggles, which is why I've always loved Paul, who penned this in his letter to Timothy.

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.  But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.  But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.  to the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.  (1 Timothy 1:12-17, ESV)

Paul's transformation is always such an amazing story that no one is too far gone to receive the redeeming love and transformation that can only come through Jesus.  His love is extravagant.  His love is unending.  His love is scandalous.  His love is for you. 

So no matter how long you feel stuck in Saturday, always remember that Sunday will come.  

And Jesus cried out and said, “Whoever believes in me, believes not in me but in him who sent me.  And whoever sees me sees him who sent me.  I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.  If anyone hears my words and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world.  The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day.  For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment—what to say and what to speak.  And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told me.” (John 12:44-50, ESV)

Continue Reading...

A Sunrise Through the Rear View Mirror

Friday morning I was on my way to work, heading west, away from the rising sun.  As I pulled onto the highway and went up a slight hill, I glanced behind me to change lanes and saw one of the most beautiful sunrises I'd seen in quite a while.  There was a mix of puffy and whispy, almost steamy, clouds atop a backdrop of the most aqua looking sky.  The sun was reflecting the most beautiful coral and purple colors off of the clouds.  It was perfection.

It was far more beautiful than this

I was sad that I had to keep driving and couldn't keep glancing back just to take it all in.  I considered exiting and finding somewhere to just absorb it, but I was in a hurry, as I always am.  Glancing over my shoulder frequently wasn't an option because the traffic speeds change rapidly and I would surely end up rear ending someone.  Instead, I tried to view it from my rear view mirror.  While I could still see some of the colors, they were no where near as vibrant as they appeared when I was actually looking at the sunrise full on. 


As I was realizing how disappointing it was to view something so beautiful through a mirror, I heard that familiar small voice say to me "that is why you shouldn't trust your mirror, your beauty isn't visible through a mirror, I see you more clearly than you do, believe who I say you are."

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10, ESV

Needless to say, I ended up in a big bucket of tears on my way to work. 


I am and have always been my worst enemy and critic.  Instead of seeing my own beauty, internal and external, I constantly replay all of the ugliness.  I so rarely believe that I am loved and have unsurpassable worth simply because God loves me and created me to be who I am. 


I starting thinking more about the sunrise, and about how during a sunrise, something like clouds, which I normally am not a fan of, become a thing of beauty.  Without a few clouds, a sunrise isn't nearly as beautiful.  God constantly uses things that aren't normally considered wonderful or beautiful to show his goodness and love. 


Since I'm really struggling to make God more important than food in my life, I often feel like I'm not worthy of being loved, like I'm not deserving of good things.  God has been working really hard to show me just how wrong that is.


Sunday at church, Greg Boyd delivered a phenomenal message called Party Crasher that I wish everyone would listen to.  We've been in a series called Women on the Outside, and each week a different woman has been highlighted.  Today, he spoke about the woman from Luke 7 who washed Jesus feet with her tears and hair. 


This woman knew who she was and the Pharisees freely reminded her.  For a woman, any woman, let alone a prostitute, to enter this setting took an extreme amount of faith and love.  She faced being stoned to death, but instead, Jesus tells her that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her.  He loved her just as she was.  No judgement, no condemnation, just love.


I frequently need to reminded that God loves me just as I am.  He chose me and died for me even though he knew all of my shortcomings, and maybe even because of them. 


Today I want to remind every one of you that God loves you, just as you are.  You can't do anything to make him love you any more or any less.  You can try all you want to be good or do better, but at the end of the day, all He wants is your heart.  He wants your love.  He wants your attention.  He wants YOU.  You with all of your imperfections, all of your brokenness, all of your pride.  He simply wants you, and He won't stop until you know it. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39, ESV

Continue Reading...