Friday morning I was on my way to work, heading west, away from the rising sun. As I pulled onto the highway and went up a slight hill, I glanced behind me to change lanes and saw one of the most beautiful sunrises I'd seen in quite a while. There was a mix of puffy and whispy, almost steamy, clouds atop a backdrop of the most aqua looking sky. The sun was reflecting the most beautiful coral and purple colors off of the clouds. It was perfection.
I was sad that I had to keep driving and couldn't keep glancing back just to take it all in. I considered exiting and finding somewhere to just absorb it, but I was in a hurry, as I always am. Glancing over my shoulder frequently wasn't an option because the traffic speeds change rapidly and I would surely end up rear ending someone. Instead, I tried to view it from my rear view mirror. While I could still see some of the colors, they were no where near as vibrant as they appeared when I was actually looking at the sunrise full on.
As I was realizing how disappointing it was to view something so beautiful through a mirror, I heard that familiar small voice say to me "that is why you shouldn't trust your mirror, your beauty isn't visible through a mirror, I see you more clearly than you do, believe who I say you are."
Needless to say, I ended up in a big bucket of tears on my way to work.
I am and have always been my worst enemy and critic. Instead of seeing my own beauty, internal and external, I constantly replay all of the ugliness. I so rarely believe that I am loved and have unsurpassable worth simply because God loves me and created me to be who I am.
I starting thinking more about the sunrise, and about how during a sunrise, something like clouds, which I normally am not a fan of, become a thing of beauty. Without a few clouds, a sunrise isn't nearly as beautiful. God constantly uses things that aren't normally considered wonderful or beautiful to show his goodness and love.
Since I'm really struggling to make God more important than food in my life, I often feel like I'm not worthy of being loved, like I'm not deserving of good things. God has been working really hard to show me just how wrong that is.
Sunday at church, Greg Boyd delivered a phenomenal message called Party Crasher that I wish everyone would listen to. We've been in a series called Women on the Outside, and each week a different woman has been highlighted. Today, he spoke about the woman from Luke 7 who washed Jesus feet with her tears and hair.
This woman knew who she was and the Pharisees freely reminded her. For a woman, any woman, let alone a prostitute, to enter this setting took an extreme amount of faith and love. She faced being stoned to death, but instead, Jesus tells her that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her. He loved her just as she was. No judgement, no condemnation, just love.
I frequently need to reminded that God loves me just as I am. He chose me and died for me even though he knew all of my shortcomings, and maybe even because of them.
Today I want to remind every one of you that God loves you, just as you are. You can't do anything to make him love you any more or any less. You can try all you want to be good or do better, but at the end of the day, all He wants is your heart. He wants your love. He wants your attention. He wants YOU. You with all of your imperfections, all of your brokenness, all of your pride. He simply wants you, and He won't stop until you know it.
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| It was far more beautiful than this |
I was sad that I had to keep driving and couldn't keep glancing back just to take it all in. I considered exiting and finding somewhere to just absorb it, but I was in a hurry, as I always am. Glancing over my shoulder frequently wasn't an option because the traffic speeds change rapidly and I would surely end up rear ending someone. Instead, I tried to view it from my rear view mirror. While I could still see some of the colors, they were no where near as vibrant as they appeared when I was actually looking at the sunrise full on.
As I was realizing how disappointing it was to view something so beautiful through a mirror, I heard that familiar small voice say to me "that is why you shouldn't trust your mirror, your beauty isn't visible through a mirror, I see you more clearly than you do, believe who I say you are."
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10, ESV
Needless to say, I ended up in a big bucket of tears on my way to work.
I am and have always been my worst enemy and critic. Instead of seeing my own beauty, internal and external, I constantly replay all of the ugliness. I so rarely believe that I am loved and have unsurpassable worth simply because God loves me and created me to be who I am.
I starting thinking more about the sunrise, and about how during a sunrise, something like clouds, which I normally am not a fan of, become a thing of beauty. Without a few clouds, a sunrise isn't nearly as beautiful. God constantly uses things that aren't normally considered wonderful or beautiful to show his goodness and love.
Since I'm really struggling to make God more important than food in my life, I often feel like I'm not worthy of being loved, like I'm not deserving of good things. God has been working really hard to show me just how wrong that is.
Sunday at church, Greg Boyd delivered a phenomenal message called Party Crasher that I wish everyone would listen to. We've been in a series called Women on the Outside, and each week a different woman has been highlighted. Today, he spoke about the woman from Luke 7 who washed Jesus feet with her tears and hair.
This woman knew who she was and the Pharisees freely reminded her. For a woman, any woman, let alone a prostitute, to enter this setting took an extreme amount of faith and love. She faced being stoned to death, but instead, Jesus tells her that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her. He loved her just as she was. No judgement, no condemnation, just love.
I frequently need to reminded that God loves me just as I am. He chose me and died for me even though he knew all of my shortcomings, and maybe even because of them.
Today I want to remind every one of you that God loves you, just as you are. You can't do anything to make him love you any more or any less. You can try all you want to be good or do better, but at the end of the day, all He wants is your heart. He wants your love. He wants your attention. He wants YOU. You with all of your imperfections, all of your brokenness, all of your pride. He simply wants you, and He won't stop until you know it.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39, ESV
